Faded Leaves: The Musings of a slightly crazy lady

Handmade Jewelry and Home Decor Blog

Learning to Not be Afraid January 19, 2011

Filed under: Stuff in the life of Shannon H. — fadedleaves @ 8:00 am
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So on my other blog, i post a daily inspirational quote to help fellow artisans be inspired in their work and daily lives. The quote i posted a couple days ago really struck a chord with me and got me thinking. Here it is:

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one.
Elbert Hubbard

Why did this get me thinking? Well for one its very true. Alot of people live their lives terrified of mistakes and because of that they dont really live. And for two, this was me not too long ago.

I had gone through a slew of really horrible boyfriends. Sure, you’re thinking, we all have at one time or another. And you are right we have but my luck really sucked for the longest time. It seemed every guy i went out with was either abusive or had some sort of agenda (shotgun wedding anyone? no i wasnt preggo but he tried saying i was!) For four or five years straight, i spent most of my life miserable. When i finally wised up and dumped the last one on his butt and ran away from that horrible situation, i decided that i was done making mistakes and done with all these screwups who tried to pass themselves off as decent human beings.

So what did i do? I lived in fear. Afraid of making yet another colossal mistake, i holed up in my house. I only went to work, cause i had to, didnt socialize with anyone there, went to church but rarely talked to anyone. Basically i avoided all contact with anyone who might even attempt to set me up or who i might even possibly start getting feelings for.  I literally was afraid. Afraid of being abused again, afraid of putting myself out there, and then subsequently getting hurt again.

Six to seven months passed. I was, not surprisingly, depressed. My sister was worried for me. She tried everything to convince me that just because i’d somehow managed to date 4 bad apples all in a row it didnt mean EVERY guy was a bad apple. I just gave her “the look” and so eventually she stopped trying. But at the end of that seven months, i kept getting this nagging inner voice that kept telling me to get back out there. And nothing i could say would convince it to shutup.

After fighting with it (see i really am crazy! lol) for about a month, i decided that maybe it was right. Living in fear of making a mistake wasnt doing anything for me. I was miserable. Probably just as miserable as i had been in all those bad relationships. I finally decided that even if i made another mistake or 100 mistakes, it was worth it. Because living holed up in my house wasnt really living at all, and honestly i was sick of staring at the 4 walls and the same pics day in and day out.

All in all it worked out pretty well for me. I stopped living in fear, went out and BAM! met my awesome, incredible, wonderfully sweet husband and the rest is history. And since i met him, i’ve done more living in the 3 years we’ve been together then i’ve ever done before.  We’ve traveled the country, moved about a billion times (ok maybe not that many time but it sure feels like it.), and had some pretty awesome adventures. One of those adventures was starting my business, Faded Leaves. Without my husband’s encouragement, and my new found freedom of making mistakes and being ok with it, it never would have happened. Honestly im the happiest i’ve ever been in my life.

And i owe it all to that naggy little voice in my head and heart that wouldnt give up on me. So, readers, get out there, make mistakes! Revel in the fact that you are living life and enjoying it and sometimes mistakes come with living. Fear keeps many people from doing alot of things they would probably be awesome at. What are you afraid of doing? Is the fear of making a mistake holding you back? Conquer that fear today and discover just how great life can be and come join me on the crazy side.

I promise i dont bite! (well not too hard at least. 😉 )

Until Next Time,

Shannon H.


One Response to “Learning to Not be Afraid”

  1. (Pisces)Olya Says:

    What a great post, Shannon! There is no point living in fear, we only have One life, so we might as well make the Best out of it! ♥
    “Make the Most of the Best & the Least of the Worst” =)

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